Preaching on Body Image?

It amuses, concerns, and occasionally annoys me that Facebook has become such a platform for people to "like" various articles without stating any reasons or opinions for their button-clicks. However, every once in a while someone will unknowingly lead me to an interesting article. 

Enter this piece on the pastor's role in teaching about body image. 

I read through a few of the comments (something I try to do discerningly, because I tend to get riled up) and decided it was better to air my thoughts here, in a more intentional setting, than to add a book to a Facebook comment thread. 

The article posits that body image is a significant enough issue for our culture that our pastors ought to spend some time discussing the issue from the pulpit. It cites "alarming" statistics about the over-10 million cosmetic surgeries performed in 2013 and the increase of dissatisfaction of men with their bodies as well. 

The Facebook comments tended toward (and granted, I didn't read them all) two things: claims that the Lord looks on the inward being and so our outward images are unimportant, and that there are much "bigger fish to fry" and that we should preach the gospel and let the body image issues take care of themselves. 

The article was brief, and I felt didn't fully justify the reasons this needs to be a conversation in the church. I am inclined to lean slightly towards the "preach the gospel and let the body image issues resolve themselves" simply because I'm not certain that the pulpit is the best medium for discussing body image. However, I do strongly believe that we need to be teaching explicitly what it means to truly treat our bodies as temples--and this has nothing to do with piercings, tattoos, or what have you, but more to do with giving ourselves and our physical bodies the respect and care that we ought to give to any of God's creations. This is something a pastor can do from the pulpit, or simply a friend over a cup of coffee. 

Whether by pastor or by friend, I think this is a conversation that needs to happen in the Church. We spout Scriptures about how our inward selves are more important and how we should not mark our bodies, without ever discussing the ridiculous expectations we hold for ourselves (what we weigh, how much/if any makeup we wear, what clothes we choose, and on and on). We are created--intentionally, lovingly, and wonderfully created--and that has massive implications for how we see and treat our physical bodies. 

The Church is to be a place of love and drawing inward--a place where the marginalized and unworthy find forgiveness, transformation, and acceptance. Learning to give our physical bodies honor and love is stewarding God's creation. The Church can be a part of this, without ever sacrificing the gospel or placing the emphasis on outward appearances. 

In the interest of honesty, I worry more about what I wear to church on a weekly basis than almost any other outfit. I wonder what the slimmer, prettier women in our congregation will be wearing, and I worry about whether I will measure up with my last-summer styles. I apply my makeup carefully, not wanting to look like I'm trying too hard, but also wanting to look neat and polished. After all, my husband is a deacon and I teach Sunday School--don't we want to give a good impression? 

Almost every week after these thoughts run through my head, I remind myself that people aren't paying as much attention to me as I think, and I try to tell myself that this time is for worship--it is for the Lord, and not for me to play dress-up or the comparison game (and oh how I love that comparison game). It is a weekly struggle to focus my thoughts on that gospel that my wonderful pastor is preaching, instead of that scuff mark on my shoe or how my skirt is lying across my legs. 

(Also? I call B.S. on anyone who tries to claim that physical appearances don't matter at all. I was told recently that I would make a great teacher because I have a big smile and I "sparkle" when I talk about school. I'm ok with that because it's my inward enthusiasm for education spilling outward, but don't tell me that wasn't a judgement on my teaching skills based on my physical appearance. What you look like matters--but hopefully we can overlook physical appearance in a true effort to get to know people's honest selves.) 

So yes, I think that my pastor should focus on the gospel, and we should find our identity in Christ, and learn to value ourselves for who we are and not what we wear or weigh. But we also need to realize that this body image, this sense of self, is part of who we are as believers and needs to be a part of our discussion. 

What do you think? Please share your thoughts, experiences, and perspective--this needs to be a discussion, not a monologue! 

On Continuing the Conversation

This weekend I had the privilege of joining about 20 women from my church on our first ever Women's Retreat. Personally, I had my reservations--aren't "women's retreats" for my mom, and are we going to hold hands and sing kumbaya? Despite my qualms, I had a lovely time. A few ladies from our church shared their stories with us, and we had some great, honest discussions surrounding their words to us.



We went to Tel-Hai Camp in Honey Brook, PA. If anyone is looking for someplace to hold a retreat, I highly recommend it. The accommodations were great (we were on the decidedly non-rustic end of the housing options) and the staff was friendly and super helpful.



Of all the great things that happened this weekend, however, one of my very favorite things occurred at the very end. Most of us were packed up and getting ready to go, and there was an impromptu conversation between myself and about five other women on the topic of feminism.



I won't hash out all the gritty details of what we discussed, but it ranged from feminism in the 60's, feminism now, feminism in the church, and why any of it matters.



It also included three women in their 20's, one mother of toddlers, one mother of teenagers, and my pastor's wife. A range of life experiences, ages, cultural backgrounds, and faith backgrounds was represented.



Nobody was put down, had their opinions dismissed, or laughed at crazy ideas (ideas that we fully admitted may be blasphemous, and that's why we felt compelled to ask and study and pray about them). We talked about how far feminism has come, what it looks like today, and what we as the new generation of young adults, professionals, and parents want the future to look like.



It was a beautiful thing, and it was deeply encouraging to me. Not just because we were talking about something that I personally feel is important, but because our thoughts and opinions were being respected, validated, and discussed in a church setting, with ladies who hold some level of authority and experience over us (I never thought I'd interrupt my pastor's wife!).



I am deeply lucky that I have found a church home where this is the norm, where this is allowed, and where this can happen freely and with love.



If you have any resources on any of these topics, please share them! I don't want the conversation to be over, and we are always eager for more to read and think about.

Venite, Domini Mi

I love the idea of Advent, of celebrating not only the birth of Christ but also the process of awaiting his arrival. Recognizing the cry of John the Baptist, preparing the way for the One who is going to change everything.



Some things need so badly to be changed.



Perhaps that's why this beautiful post resonated so deeply with me; our joy is proceeded by bitter suffering, by hard questions, and by resounding sadness. When we embrace those things, our joy is so much fuller and more lasting.



It is an incredible joy to celebrate the arrival of Christ incarnate, God on earth, sharing in our hardships. The season of Advent, of active waiting, only serves to enrich that fulfillment.



Do you celebrate Advent?

Why "Why" Cannot be Answered

Full disclosure: I teared up at the reading of this post. 

By now you should be familiar with Jen Hatmaker's blog, but this is beyond beautiful and needs to be shared. 

A coworker shared with me that a personal tragedy early in her life led her to reject God and organized religion in every way, shape or form. If only someone with this perspective had reached out to her, instead of saying "God has a purpose." 

There is a time for mourning, as for everything else. 

Good Love

I've linked you up to her before, and she's here again: the marvelous Sarah Bessey.



Rachel Held Evans is writing a series on submission, as it pertains to spouses and others in the church. As usually with Ms. Evans, I agree with some, disagree with some, but generally appreciate the attitude of not slamming those with whom you may disagree, but trying to dialogue and understand.



Sarah Bessey wrote this beautiful post on what mutual submission looks like in her marriage, and folks, lemme tell you...



This is what I want my marriage to look like.




"I just want to read dog-eared poetry books and cook his meals, argue with him about theology and then kiss him on the kitchen floor."



I don't need to set down rules and lines for how Dan and I will show grace and love (and yes, sometimes submission) to one another. I do need to continually remind myself of the incredible grace and love shown to me, and continually strive to extend that grace and love to my husband.



Sometimes this will mean submitting to my husband's will by him going out with friends again. Sometimes it means he submits to my will and has a quiet night in with me. Sometimes it means we carefully discuss the pros and cons of the churches we've visited and decide together which one we feel is best for us.



And that's the beauty of Sarah's post. It doesn't matter on which side of the egalitarian/complementarian line you fall. She's talking about love, self-sacrifical, servant-hearted love.



The kind Jesus gave, and asks us to give.

Yet Another Link

I know I've been doing this a lot lately, but my mind has been full of school. Sometimes I need other people's words to start my own flowing.



I'm new to this blog, but this post gave me goosebumps. A link up itself from one of my favorite bloggers Sarah Bessey, it totally pinpoints the world of youth group that I had.



I grew up in a big, non-denominational church. We had a band on the stage every Sunday, a "cool" pastor who gave real-life sermons that didn't get into theology. We had a youth group of hundreds, tons of retreats and camps and short-term missions trips. I was that child.


And you know what? It worked.



For all the drama, all the emotionalism, all the youth-pastor support and cheesy activities, I had good friends, dedicated adult leaders, and an environment that allowed me to embrace God. Without those things I have no idea what would have happened to me.



I was also blessed enough to visit other churches, make other friends, and have other experiences that drove me into doctrine and theology and deeper questions and answers. I was lucky enough (how could that even be the right word?) to have good teachers and books when I was questioning my faith and doubting these truths.



So, to youth leaders, youths, and college kids--embrace these sometimes-corny, oft-derided youth group experiences. They just may be what anchors you in the truth of the gospel, be exactly what you need to keep from dipping toes into the pool of evil that is just waiting for the right moment.



Thanks to be God for all of his ways of reaching us, of holding us, of drawing us to himself. Cheesy worship songs, catechisms, weekend missions trips--as long as it points you to Christ, to the truth that God offers us grace and love and salvation--it can all be effective for him.

Linking You Up

I know, this may be the fourth or fifth time I've sent you to Jen Hatmaker's blog, but she just speaks to me so well.



In this post, she talks about being uninvited to speak at a conference because of her particular leanings on certain topics. Her honesty about doubt. Her transparency regarding her sins. Her position on drinking. (! Are we really still hung up on this?!)



Anyway, I love this post because it's about me. About my generation. About the oncoming slew of young adults who love Jesus, but aren't sure what to think about gay marriage. College&Careers who are pushing to find the balance between an intellectual, thoughtful faith and love that is lived out in service, day by day. Kids who refuse the dogma, the denomination, and long for acceptance.



These are my people. And I say, hallelujah for a woman like Jen who will "gather us" to herself and help us on the way. We need people, we need mamas and fathers and brothers and sisters and children of our own, if we really want to transform this world into a place where the Kingdom of God can be recognized.

How Great a Debtor!

I'm constantly awed by the concept of grace. The grace extended to me by my Heavenly Father, the grace offered to me by others, and the grace that grudgingly flows out of my own broken being through the power of the Holy Spirit.



(Make no mistake, if you are offered grace by me, it's the Lord's doing. I am such an ungracious person so much of the time.)



Perhaps that's why this post by author, speaker, and pastor's wife Jen Hatmaker was so meaningful to me.



I am in constant need of grace. I constantly need to give more grace to others. Please Lord, make it happen.

Caution: God At Work

I've been working on several things lately.


Especially now that I have time to think beyond what-does-this-child-want-please-don't-shout-we're-inside-raise-your-hand-don't-call-out-wash-your-hands-they-are-filthy-did-you-remember-to-flush-the-toilet-quiet-in-the-hallways and the other billion and a half things that are constantly running through my head and out my mouth when teaching kindergarten.


Aww, I miss those little buggers. Good thing I'm visiting soon!


One work-in-progress lately has been my deepening understanding of grace.


Yep. A serious post. You can always leave now and come back later when it's more muffins and Lily and whatnot, if that's what you really want.


But do you?!




Grace has always been my mom's thing (yeah, again, go ahead and laugh). I struggled more with the faithfulness part of my faith, where I really clung to God as my only strength and purpose and focus and all those good things. However, recently I've come to realize that I had it all wrong for a long time.


Are you surprised?


See, I'm not really that good at being faithful. I'm weak, I'm fickle, I get distracted eas--ooh, shiny!


You get the point.


So when the focus of my beliefs is on how I can be faithful to God, rather than really understanding how He is faithful to me, things turn pretty sour pretty quickly. I get discouraged, I get angry (mostly at myself) I get frustrated with what I think is God failing me, when in reality I've got the whole thing backwards from the beginning.


Christianity is not about what we, as humans, can do for God. It never has been, it never will be. See: the Pharisees. Rather, Christianity is about what God has done for us, by grace, through Jesus Christ and the redeeming power of the cross.


The whole point of grace is that I. DO NOT. DESERVE IT. 


It's not anything that I can do, it's not my faithfulness, it's not my choice to believe, it's not my goodness as a human that makes me worthwhile to God. And believe me, after spending one year with 2-year-olds and one semester with kindergarteners, it's really easy to believe that humans have no innate goodness whatsoever.


When I really step back and look at grace as God intended it to be, I find something so awesome (in the traditional sense--awe-inspiring, not like "awesome shoes dude"), so humbling, so overwhelming that I have no choice but to just sit back and let it overtake me. God loves me for no reason at all. He just does. He justified me to Himself, is redeeming me from myself, and will sanctify me to His purpose, all just because He can.


Let me say that again. JUST BECAUSE HE CAN.


When I accept this grace as it was meant to be (and I use the term "accept" loosely--who can resist such an overpowering gift of love?!) I find that I am nothing. And rather than being a deprecating realization, it is so peaceful, so right, that I no longer care about my worth. I'm not worrying about my self-worth, I'm not worrying about my rights, I'm not even worrying about working on myself to become the person I'm supposed to be, all because I'm covered by grace. I can bask in this grace, rest in God's faithfulness to me, and allow this grace the penetrate every area of my life.


In that way alone can I truly come to be faithful to God (as a response, rather than by my own initiative) and become who God intends me to be. It's a long way off, but each baby step reassures me that I'll get there eventually.


I know I'm not really saying anything original here. It's all been said, it's all been done, there's nothing new under the sun....but seriously. It's still pretty cool. And if-and-when it clicks for you, I promise. It will feel pretty new and cool to you.