Saturday, November 23, 2013

These Words

In the last few days of October, I impulsively decided to begin writing again.

Not writing here...writing stories, writing things for me to enjoy and not really to share, just for the sake of writing. 

I signed up for one of those write-a-novel-in-a-month things, because I thought it'd be nice to write in a sort of community. Kind of like the blogging community, but with more accountability. 

This, my friends, was a silly thing to do. 

In the last three weeks I've written down some words, and enjoyed it. It's fun to create and process and do something just-because. I'm nowhere near reaching my goal, and I'm ok with it, but something interesting has happened. 

In making writing a Task instead of a Hobby, I've become paralyzed. My words get stuck at my fingertips, my ideas don't flesh out the way I hoped, and I feel pressurepressurepressure. Which is totally the opposite of the point. 

My words have stopped coming easily, taking pictures for this blog has felt like work, and I'm just tired. Tired of trying to create something out of nothing. 

I'm not planning on stopping, because writing is still a Good for me, and it's not something I've come to dislike. I'm just crawling along at a snail's pace, which feels about appropriate considering my energy levels. (How am I more tired this year than last year when I had so much more to do?)

Words have always been my treasure, and for the first time in a long time they feel like harsh masters. I'm going to take my cue from that and slow down, ease back, and try to feel my way through this process instead of fighting tooth and nail to keep up with some imaginary deadlines and accounts. 

What do you do when you feel stuck? Most often I power through, because it's a necessity. But in this, is taking a break the right choice? 

Saturday, November 16, 2013

Onto the Baby Phase



Tomorrow I'm helping a couple friends throw a baby shower for another friend--the lovely Kelly, who is the first one in our little "inner circle" to have a baby.

To say I'm excited is to put it mildly.

While I'm not ready for babies myself, of course I love them, and I'm thrilled to have a little cutie to snuggle and play with and watch grow up (and then hand her back to her mama...let's be realistic!). Kelly is going to be an awesome mama and it'll be wonderful to celebrate her new phase together.

I'm hoping to take plenty of pictures to share with you, and I have a couple other posts boiling just under the surface. It's been a crazy busy week, so I can't promise much except maybe some clean laundry by tomorrow night.

I hope.

Wednesday, November 6, 2013

Finding Some Air

I got to go outside for recess today (which doesn't always happen because of timing and life of an aide).

It was glorious outside. A last few rays of warm sunshine on my back and gorgeous fall leaves.

Tonight I came home, put on my hoodie, and curled up on the couch. I haven't moved since, except to make a quick tomato soup and some cheesy toast.

It's not that I've been so busy, I don't have a good excuse. I'm just spending time thinking of things besides this blog lately. I'm not giving up, nor am I trying to justify. But there are readers out there (right? You haven't left?) and I didn't want to disappear.

There will be more posts, and there will be pictures and recipes and weekend recaps. But maybe a little slower.

In the meantime, I'll be snuggling with my dog, hanging out with my sister, walking in the last days of fall, eating cheesy toast and ignoring my to-do list. Some air will be nice.