Saturday, November 23, 2013

These Words

In the last few days of October, I impulsively decided to begin writing again.



Not writing here...writing stories, writing things for me to enjoy and not really to share, just for the sake of writing. 



I signed up for one of those write-a-novel-in-a-month things, because I thought it'd be nice to write in a sort of community. Kind of like the blogging community, but with more accountability. 



This, my friends, was a silly thing to do. 



In the last three weeks I've written down some words, and enjoyed it. It's fun to create and process and do something just-because. I'm nowhere near reaching my goal, and I'm ok with it, but something interesting has happened. 



In making writing a Task instead of a Hobby, I've become paralyzed. My words get stuck at my fingertips, my ideas don't flesh out the way I hoped, and I feel pressurepressurepressure. Which is totally the opposite of the point. 



My words have stopped coming easily, taking pictures for this blog has felt like work, and I'm just tired. Tired of trying to create something out of nothing. 



I'm not planning on stopping, because writing is still a Good for me, and it's not something I've come to dislike. I'm just crawling along at a snail's pace, which feels about appropriate considering my energy levels. (How am I more tired this year than last year when I had so much more to do?)



Words have always been my treasure, and for the first time in a long time they feel like harsh masters. I'm going to take my cue from that and slow down, ease back, and try to feel my way through this process instead of fighting tooth and nail to keep up with some imaginary deadlines and accounts. 



What do you do when you feel stuck? Most often I power through, because it's a necessity. But in this, is taking a break the right choice?